a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
