are you still at the devil's house?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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