I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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