The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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