I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
