Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
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I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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