She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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