they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
