she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
