Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
