I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
