Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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