can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
