He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
