You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
