just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
wanna go halves on a baby?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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