Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize