I just threw up on my dentist
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
