are you still at the devil's house?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
