is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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