Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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