That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
