I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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