Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
