it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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