What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA