What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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