Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
