Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
