It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
