We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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