so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
