let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
