Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
