i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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