yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
