i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
