My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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