you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
