we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
