D3 body, D1 cock
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
