I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize