ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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