A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
