Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
honey bunches of taint.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
