i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
