Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize