there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left an ass print on the piano.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize