yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
