and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
