i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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