youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize