singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
