A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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