Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize