And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize