last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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