Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
